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Celebrity Big Brother (5) Is Back!
Well, it will be on the 3rd of January 2006, when
another bunch of (inevitably) z-list celebrities agree to
have their life run by the all-seeing entity for a while.
This short-format version of Big Brother started-out as a
spin-off of Comic Relief, with mischievous comedian Jack Dee
pretending to tunnel-out and Vanessa Feltz going nuts and
becoming the first person to tell Big Bro to 'eff off!
There were rather less memorable moments during the second
series though, when the most controversial character (Goldie)
got voted-out first, Les Dennis' marriage seemed to fall apart
before our eyes, and the series was eventually won by all-round
nice bloke, Mark Owen.
But things pepped-up for the third instalment, where mouthy
feminist Germaine Greer quit early-on, confirmed slob John
McCririck ate his own bogies and was unbelievably chauvinistic,
sexist and bigoted, and the series was won (for some reason)
by Happy Mondays maraca-man, Bez.
The most memorable bit, however, was the surprise arrival
of Jackie ("Yeah, Jackie!") Stallone. Along with
fellow contestants Kenzie and Jeremy Edwards, we absolutely
killed ourselves laughing when the ancient celebrity Mum walked
into a wall in the middle of the night. Oof!
And who could forget the most recent Celebrity BB, which
saw fallen TV star Michael Barrymore mumbling his way through,
Pete Burns displaying dress sense as shocking as his huge
lips, and non-celeb housemate Chantelle Houghton managing
to dupe the real celebs and 'pull' Preston in the process.
But the image most etched in our minds is that of controversial
MP George Galloway donning a skin-tight red leotard, running
in slow motion and playing the part of Rula Lenska's pet cat.
Like you do.
"Would you like me to be the cat?" Arrgh,
we're still receiving counselling almost a year on!
The new series will last for at least 3 weeks again; the
previous four series have lasted for 8, 10, 18 and 23 days
respectively. And although it will doubtless receive a major
overhaul for Big Brother 8 next summer, Elstree’s most
famous house has been moderately re-designed for CBB5.
But what fans really want to know is: which celebrities have
been crazy enough to sign-up? Well, many names have been bandied-about
so far, including Rolf Harris, Ruby Wax, David Hasselhoff,
Sarah Harding, Paul Michael Glaser and, somewhat bizarrely,
Stephen Hawking.
Not that we think a disabled person couldn't or shouldn't
be on the show, it's just that we imagine an expert in cosmology
and quantum gravity such as Professor Hawking has better things
to do!
Those who've almost certainly signed-up for Celebrity Big
Brother 5 in 2007 are Dirk Benedict, aka 'Face' from The A-Team,
and Wacko Jacko's biggest fan (not!) Muhammad Abdul Aziz,
otherwise known as his brother Jermaine Jackson.
Whoever it turns out to be, there are rumours that the producers
might try and implement some kind of 'Brits versus Yanks'
theme, but we'll just have to wait until the New Year to find
out. They're certainly planning some big surprises this time
around, or so they say.
Celebrity Big Brother 5 launches on Wednesday the 3rd of
January 2007 at 8pm on Channel 4. Don’t forget to pop
back and enjoy our coverage of the show, and maybe participate
in our fun Discussion
Forum?
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