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JACK CRACK'S

Jack Dee went stir crazy in the Big Brother house last night. In the wee small hours of Sunday morning he finally cracked and made a desperate break for freedom. The comedian escaped from the house at around 3am Sunday morning. But this was no Comic Relief gag, he had simply had enough of being cooped up under the constant scrutiny of Big Brother. His absence sparked a wave of concern among the remaining members of the group who, while being aware of Jack's unhappiness, had no idea about his cunning plan. Finally after an hour roaming the streets of East London, the rebel nonchalantly strolled back into the house. It was a scene reminiscent of the classic wartime break out movie "The Great Escape." And Jack was just as cool as the film's heart-throb star Steve McQueen. Anthea, Claire and Keith were busy in the kitchen making a bedtime nightcap when the wandering hero returned. "Here he is," Claire said as he walked in. Keith, laughing in admiration asked, "Did they chase you?" Jack responded with a shrug. "I got to Stratford," he said, "and then I came back because it's for Comic Relief - but I just wanted to get out." Claire was eager to hear the story in all its glory over a nice cuppa. "Would you like a cup of tea?" she asked. "I'd love one please," Jack replied casually. It was Keith who then steered the conversation back to Jack's flight. Jack's face was caked in mud - referring to this Keith asked, "How's your face so dirty?" "I was climbing through the bushes because there was security all round the fences when I came back," Jack explained. But Keith, like a dog with a bone, was craving more details. "Did they see you come back in?" he pressed. "Yeah I just turned myself in," Jack replied before mooching off down the corridor towards the washroom. While away Keith shook his head in incredulity remarking to Claire, "He's wild." "He's Great," she beamed. Jack was back in the kitchen in moments to continue his story. "The gate was open - I couldn't resist it. I had to go." Keith couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Was it open or did you climb underneath it?" "No I opened this fence," Jack reiterated, "and then I had to go past all their portacabins - I got all the way to Stratford." As Jack started to realise that perhaps his actions had upset the rest of the group he apologised. But it was unnecessary. "There's nothing to be sorry for man," Keith reassured him. Appeased, Jack went on with the details of his escapade: "I threw my microphone down, went all the way to the perimeter gate and then thought I shouldn't have done, because it's like vandalism, so I came back and got it. But I'd broken it and then I went back again and got over the perimeter gate and went for miles. I was walking around. There were police cars and I don't know if they [Big Brother] had called the police but there were police cars going past." Then he finally gave an explanation for his commando-style muddied face. "I dirtied it up so they wouldn't see me because when I was coming back they were looking around." "Did you get in without them seeing you?" Keith asked, but as Jack explained, he just gave himself up. "I just stood around in the end because I thought I'm not going to lay around all night." Then Jack went off to clean himself up. It was Keith who then summed up the night's antics "It's starting to get quite fun," he remarked grinning from ear to ear. Needless to say, security around the Big Brother house is under review.