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IRONING OUT PROBLEMS

Chris is concerned that the lack of amenities in the house will cause his pristine image to topple. The caftan-wearing ex-boxer has been pestering Big Brother all morning for a few extra luxuries. "How do you do?" Chris greeted Big Brother, entering the Diary Room in just his pants. "I need to get changed and I need an ironing board. Will you get back to me soon as I need my iron in the next five minutes?" Chris then left the Diary Room, only to return - true to his word - a few minutes later. "We need the handle for the mop," he said. "I understand you will say "Big Brother will get back to you" as you do, but do you by any chance have news on the iron and ironing board? I've got my jeans on now and they are not ironed properly. Well, they are ironed, but they've got creases in them that I don't need." "Big Brother will get back to you," came the obvious reply, but Chris was persistent: "What's the day today? Saturday? Currys, Comets they're all open. Also, do we have to do our own washing? Where is the washing machine? "There is no washing machine," confirmed Big Brother. "Well," Chris said, sounding slightly defeated. "I will get scrubbing right away." While Chris was all in a lather, washing his clothes in the bathroom sink, a batch of freshly-pressed shirts arrived for him which he had forgotten to pack. Big Brother is clearly in a very good mood today.