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Marcus Fancies His Chances With Leona Lewis

Chatting to Fred and Siavash in the early hours of Tuesday morning, out-of the blue Marcus said: "I wonder if Leona Lewis will have sex with me?"

In response, Freddie asked, "Who's Leona Lewis?" showing that he's evidently not a fan of ITV's The X Factor, which was won by the 20-something Londoner in 2006.

"That bird who done that song, who's pretty and needs my schlong," replied Marcus, not really explaining who he meant and adding a customary crudity.

The other two just brushed over his comment though, perhaps thinking the same as we were: You couldn't pull Noirin, so how the hell do you expect to pull a rich and successful R 'n' B singer Marcus?

Deluded? Just a bit!

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