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You're So Vain

Has this series of Big Brother shown more vanity and commitment to personal grooming than ever before? Let's look at the evidence.

First you had muscleman Lee, recruiting housemates to join his 'eyebrow crew' in the early stages of the game; something that involved shaving-off a portion of their eyebrow. The big man was also rather fond of checking himself out in the many mirrors around the house.

Jade and Kate indulged in some 'face pack' application on Day 43 and there was the unlikely occurrence of PJ applying one to Alex during last week's Master and Servant mini-task.

In preparation for the sixth eviction, PJ filed and smoothed fellow pauper Jade's nails to perfection with improvised tools, namely a matchbox strike.

There's also been plenty of hair removal going on in the house. Who can forget when Lee flirtatiously took a razor to Sophie's legs on Day 15? The tweezers have also seen some action in the Big Brother house, what with the girls taking tweezers to their (shaved) eye-brows and Tim shaving his chest, then plucking-out any signs of ginger body hair!

Talking of hair, whilst in the house PJ kept-up the 'Moby bald look' due to his receding hairline. Jonny came into the house with a full head of hair, but decided to go for the 'army look' on Day 26. Model Alex just seems to 'wash and go' and Tim, suspected by the fans of being a closet ginger-top since his arrival, has been the King of hair poncing.

We thought BB2's Paul Clarke was bad enough with his constant hair-adjustment. However, Worcester 'toff Tim can certainly give the man who's lived life 'like an international popstar' a run for his money in the hair fiddling stakes.

Evidently believing that he is 'looking good,' Tim will pat, twiddle, afro-comb and wax his hair into perfection every morning... not that the end result indicates the 25-minute investment in creating his 'do!'

However finally, how could we talk about personal grooming with mentioning 'skanky spanky' Spencer? The laid-back contestant's commitment to the cause was, well, zero!

He would walk around for days on-end without washing and his bird poo-ridden cloths hummed so much, they could almost have walked by themselves. Still, all the 'chicks' fancied him regardless, which must surely have sent a confused message to all the cosmetics and cologne companies out there?

You know that phrase, "If you could bottle that, you'd make a mint", erm... no thanks, we'd rather remain skint!

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