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Poo Skids On The Block

What do the poor housemates do to pass their time on a quiet morning? Adele has solved that particular problem by taking on the less pleasant tasks of toilet cleaning.

Only three days have elapsed since the House divide, and there's already been a blockage in the outside loo. Clearly the combined power of three days of five chickpea and unleavened bread meals has been enough to grind the outside lavvy to a halt.

Adele, suddenly blessed with communal spirit - or sheer boredom perhaps - decided to take the task on.

"Is it best to use the plunger if the blockage occurs again, or should I do it now?" she asked Sandy, the aforementioned toilet instrument in her hand.

Sandy, with 14 more years of experience on the matter than any of the other housemates, suggested the watery impasse needed solving straight away.

"Do it now and see if anything comes out," he told her, relaxed in the knowledge that he didn't have to use the offending toilet anyway, "A big jobby might come out and chew you're your head off."

Adele scuttled outside and performed the unpleasant task. Returning indoors, she emitted a triumphant chorus. "I fixed it. Not a lot came out, but the water came out all brown."

"Eeeuuurgghhh" was hygiene gold-medallist Alex's predictable response. "You say the water came up to the brim? What button did you press, the little or the big one?"

"The small one's for a wee, the big one's for a... poo." Adele clarified.

Alex grimaced, before realising the potential for having such a useful woman in the House. "You're 'gonna make a fantastic little wife!" he told Adele, "I'll give you a call!"

"Oh thanks!" came the sarcastic reply from Adele.

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