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All The Right Moves

The boys have decided to treat Jade to a raunchy song-and-dance routine as a special birthday treat to be performed later today.

Alison and Kate guided the four usual suspects of Jonny, Spencer, Lee and PJ through a dance routine that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Four Tops stage show, while Adele watched on from the bed.

They were shown how to perfect a Motown-style 'step-and-click' move by Alison and began to sing acapella-style with Jonny as main vocalist and Lee and Spencer providing the bass.

To begin with the routine was a bit of a shambles.

The boys looked more like a bunch of headless chickens than a slick boy band and Spencer was obviously having difficulties keeping time. The boys heckled the Cambridge lad incessantly.

Kate called out, "Spencer, you're too slow," and Adele teased him with "Spencer, you dance like my Nan!" The surf shop assistant defended himself by responding, "I think it'll be funnier if we're all out of time."

Undeterred by the suggestion, Alison and Kate continued to coach the boys until the routine was looking truly polished.

Excited, the boys then embarked on one of their favourite pastimes, performing pelvic thrusts in the general direction of Alison's face.

But Jonny obviously felt the need for a bit of refinement, telling them, "I don't think we should do that - we should try to be smooth, sexy and seductive and at the end give her a good rodgering!"

<Sigh> boys will be boys...

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